Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder


I just watched the newest addition to the Starship Troopers trilogy, and I gotta say...uh...well, I'll be honest...it was terrible.

Terrible in a good way. This is one of those times that you wished you waited to watch this movie with all your friends, because making snide comments to no one in particular just makes you look crazy.

Rico is back, which is nice. But really the main character is the botox-addicted Vulcan chick from Enterprise, who plays the latest stranded supermodel pilot.

They took the ridiculous omnipresent Federation/Big Brother direction from the second movie and cranked it up to 11. The bug effects are alright, but not as good as the first movie, and a lot of the sets are clearly computer generated. You can almost see the hazy blue line that you used to see in the 80's around actors while they're standing around in front of the green screen.

I gotta say though, they did set aside the budget for some good death scenes, exploding blood-filled puppet heads and all. I knew it was going to get the gore award when within the first five minutes a bug-grenade goes off and an entrenching tool flies into a trooper's back, pinning him to the wall. Unfortunately, they decided to "upgrade" the awesome Morita rifle, and now its something no human could reasonably lift for long periods of time, much less fight with.

This movie is worth watching just to see the actors fire these things (they are built on an AK-47 frame that fires blanks-- yes I watched the 'behind-the-scenes' special features). Every time they are about to pull the trigger the actors look like they're taking a really constipated dump.

When the heavily-foreshadowed Marauders are revealed its CGI-central, and not good CGI. Like really, really bad CGI. Like Hanna-Barbara Herculoids animation. But good news is that the Brain Bug is back. Its nice to see that both Casper Van Dien and the Brain Bug aren't too busy to make some direct-to-DVD sequels for the fans. Thanks Brainy!

Nitpick fan note: Throughout the movie they keep refering to Rico as "The Hero who captured the Brain Bug." But you and I know that it was Drill Sergeant Zim who captured the Brain Bug in the first movie.

But really, who cares.

Now get out there and kill some bugs!